The Game of Blames

Maybe you’ve heard of it? No, I’m not talking about the little heard Kanye West song.

I’m talking about blaming other people for something going wrong in your life. I’m sure we have all done this before, myself included. It is something that I have been working on not doing for the past few years. It is a key part of taking responsibility for yourself and where you are in life.

Unfortunately, there are so many people out there that want to blame others for their perceived misfortunes. Especially in America. I mean where else can you find so many lawyers?

Let me give you some examples of the blame game.

• Video games made my kid violent!
• I smoked cigarettes all my adult life and now I have lung cancer, it’s the tobacco companies fault!
• My child is disruptive in class, the teacher is to blame!
• We have too many expenses, my spouse is spending too much!

It goes on and on. Every single day people are blaming someone or someTHING else for the problems around them. It has led to a culture in which it is now perfectly acceptable to do this. I mean, why not? I can take credit for the good stuff, and pass the blame onto someone else. Life is great, I’m not responsible!

Folks, life isn’t just a series of wins. You NEED to have challenges and failures. The good and the bad. Ying and yang.

Look at the results of the ‘every child gets a trophy’ experiment. Awards are powerful motivators, but nonstop recognition does not motivate anyone to greatness. They are all getting a trophy anyway, so why bother to train or improve? That’s why when they became adults they often collapsed at the first difficult experience.

Recognize and reward the best and you will see the rest inspired.

Recognize and reward all no matter what and you will demoralize everyone. You will foster a defeatist and petty culture. That for every problem in your life, there is someone out there that created it for you.

That is a poor mindset to have all your life.

PERSONAL HAPPINESS

When people play the blame game, they’ll blame others for their own anger, stress, and frustrations. A person simply cannot be at peace with themselves when they do this. In the worst cases, this leads to a downward spiral of blaming others, becoming more stressed, blaming others for that stress, and down they go.

I’m not saying that other people are not causing problems in your life because there probably are sometimes, but for you to take responsibility for your own life and happiness.

If you are blaming others for your emotions, like anger, then you are admitting that you are not in control of yourself and the life you live. You are signaling that you don’t own your life. That others control your inner peace. That you can’t control your reactions.

This doesn’t mean to not hold people accountable for their actions, only that consequences and punishments are not blame. Punishment and blame are two separate things.

If someone doesn’t do their job, give them a suitable punishment. Then take the responsibility to ensure that it doesn’t happen again.

In other words, don’t blame but fix. If something is wrong in your life, don’t waste a moment being unhappy but go and do what needs to be done to remedy it so it doesn’t drag on forever.

Blaming doesn’t change anything. Stepping up and fixing it does. If your first attempt doesn’t fix it, figure out another way and do it. Don’t give up until you get the results you desire!

Name me one successful person who never fails or passes the blame on? There isn’t one. You must take responsibility for all your actions. That’s what winners do.

Besides, blaming others is a huge emotional baggage that you have to carry around. It will make you unhappy. By letting others control your emotional state like this means you are at the whim of everyone else as to whether or not you get to be happy today. You place your happiness out of your control.

So here’s what I want you to do. Simply stop blaming others and step up to the challenge of fixing what went wrong.

When you do this you are showing your personal power. You will be in control of your emotions. When you internalize this truth you will be able to create an even more powerful state of well-being.

Give it a try. Life is just much more fun when you’re in control.